did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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