His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
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