This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
