Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
