I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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