Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
