your room smells of hookers.
And success
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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