I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
