it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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