Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Randomize
