I smell stomach acid.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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