Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize