I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
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