you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
