just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
