another moral hangover. fuck.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
