Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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