Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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