took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
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