i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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