that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I've blown a few things in my day
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
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