I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Randomize
