We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
