Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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