he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
