making cat noises will not fix the situation.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
