True but thats because hes a fetus.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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