Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
