Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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