somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
