He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
