Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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