hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
