do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
