Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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