No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
