TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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