i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
