i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
