Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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