It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
