she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
