My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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