Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
