what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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