i don't like sucking hair
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
