my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
oh god was she eating orange peels again
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize