I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
