Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
