It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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