I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
