i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
