well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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