Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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