I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
