More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
My life is pants optional.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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