How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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