Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
