apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
